Day 7 – The Kabah
Today, for the first time in my life, I saw the Kabah.
The end.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Day 6 – Leaving for Makkah
My mind is racing. I wake up in the middle of the night and my brain is going a mile a minute. Leaving Madinah. Heartache. Making my first Umrah. What should I wear? Ya Allah, make my umrah easy. Don’t forget to switch the scissors to the other bag. The bus ride. Get snacks ready. Last salah in Masjid Nabawi. Will it be my last salah ever in this masjid? Ya Rabb, bring me back soon. Alarm set for Tahajjud. Why is tahajjud so easy here? Can’t forget to ask Sh Alaa about legitimate charity. Wish I could go back to Riyad-ul-Jannah. Pray just 2 more rakah. Wonder what will be for breakfast?.....on and on. I can’t sleep. So much to think about and so little time.
The bus ride from Madinah to Makkah was eventful. Before were were on the move, a man came on the bus. He showed us a letter, a power of attorney, and told us about his brother being held by Saudi police unjustly and he had to pay blood money to get him out of jail. The man was teary eyed and his voice cracked as he spoke. A lot of sisters on our bus felt pity for this poor man and gave him whatever amount they could gather.
I wasn’t one of them.
Earlier that day, I had asked Sh Alaa how do we determine what is and is not legitimate charity. His answer was straightforward. He said give to the people that don’t ask. He said that most of those who ask are professionals and they come during hajj time because they know people’s guards are down. I told Sh Alaa that it’s difficult to say no to people. His response was profound. He said that every time you give to the con artists, you take away from the legitimate poor. Those the people with a right upon the money.
After the man got off the bus, our bus drive reappeared. He said the man with the sad story about his brother was a cheater. La hawla wa la quwata illa billah.
It made me sad. Sad for the sisters who were cheaters. Sad for the fact that we have to be suspicious of Muslims. Sad that this man has so little fear of Allah, that he is willing to steal from those who come to perform Hajj.
But he’s probably justified it in his mind somehow. Maybe he feels we are rich enough to sit in an air conditioned bus, then he’s justified in taking money from us. There’s so much haram in our own lives that we try to justify. We try to convince ourselves that we will be the ones who will be excused.
And now we are sitting on the bus, ready to make our first Umrah. Sh Riad is our group leader! As the bus ride begins, Sh Riad tells about the rain that fell in Madinah earlier that morning. He said he hadn’t seen it rain in Madinah since he left many years ago. And he reminded us that rain was a sign. A sign of Allah’s mercy and blessings. A sign that our Umrah had already been accepted. You can hear the sobs, Subhan Allahs, and Allahu Akbars murmuring through the bus. A moment of relief in all the anticipation.
Our bus ride begins and we are soon approaching Abyar Ali, where will be making our intention to enter the state of ihram. She Riad passionately describes the meaning and the reality of the talbiyah:
“Labbayk Allah humma labbayk!”
“Here I am at your service, O Lord!”
The intensity of his fiery reminder, brings everyone on the bus to a standstill and most to tears.
“Here I am Allah! At your service! I have come for You, Ya Rabb! I am coming for You! I am here to please You! I have nowhere else to go, except to You! All other doors are closed, and on Yours are open! I am here!”
I can’t do justice to Sh Riad’s words. But it was moment that will definitely be unforgettable.
My mind is racing. I wake up in the middle of the night and my brain is going a mile a minute. Leaving Madinah. Heartache. Making my first Umrah. What should I wear? Ya Allah, make my umrah easy. Don’t forget to switch the scissors to the other bag. The bus ride. Get snacks ready. Last salah in Masjid Nabawi. Will it be my last salah ever in this masjid? Ya Rabb, bring me back soon. Alarm set for Tahajjud. Why is tahajjud so easy here? Can’t forget to ask Sh Alaa about legitimate charity. Wish I could go back to Riyad-ul-Jannah. Pray just 2 more rakah. Wonder what will be for breakfast?.....on and on. I can’t sleep. So much to think about and so little time.
The bus ride from Madinah to Makkah was eventful. Before were were on the move, a man came on the bus. He showed us a letter, a power of attorney, and told us about his brother being held by Saudi police unjustly and he had to pay blood money to get him out of jail. The man was teary eyed and his voice cracked as he spoke. A lot of sisters on our bus felt pity for this poor man and gave him whatever amount they could gather.
I wasn’t one of them.
Earlier that day, I had asked Sh Alaa how do we determine what is and is not legitimate charity. His answer was straightforward. He said give to the people that don’t ask. He said that most of those who ask are professionals and they come during hajj time because they know people’s guards are down. I told Sh Alaa that it’s difficult to say no to people. His response was profound. He said that every time you give to the con artists, you take away from the legitimate poor. Those the people with a right upon the money.
After the man got off the bus, our bus drive reappeared. He said the man with the sad story about his brother was a cheater. La hawla wa la quwata illa billah.
It made me sad. Sad for the sisters who were cheaters. Sad for the fact that we have to be suspicious of Muslims. Sad that this man has so little fear of Allah, that he is willing to steal from those who come to perform Hajj.
But he’s probably justified it in his mind somehow. Maybe he feels we are rich enough to sit in an air conditioned bus, then he’s justified in taking money from us. There’s so much haram in our own lives that we try to justify. We try to convince ourselves that we will be the ones who will be excused.
And now we are sitting on the bus, ready to make our first Umrah. Sh Riad is our group leader! As the bus ride begins, Sh Riad tells about the rain that fell in Madinah earlier that morning. He said he hadn’t seen it rain in Madinah since he left many years ago. And he reminded us that rain was a sign. A sign of Allah’s mercy and blessings. A sign that our Umrah had already been accepted. You can hear the sobs, Subhan Allahs, and Allahu Akbars murmuring through the bus. A moment of relief in all the anticipation.
Our bus ride begins and we are soon approaching Abyar Ali, where will be making our intention to enter the state of ihram. She Riad passionately describes the meaning and the reality of the talbiyah:
“Labbayk Allah humma labbayk!”
“Here I am at your service, O Lord!”
The intensity of his fiery reminder, brings everyone on the bus to a standstill and most to tears.
“Here I am Allah! At your service! I have come for You, Ya Rabb! I am coming for You! I am here to please You! I have nowhere else to go, except to You! All other doors are closed, and on Yours are open! I am here!”
I can’t do justice to Sh Riad’s words. But it was moment that will definitely be unforgettable.
Day 5 - The Bus Tour
Shaykh Alaa led us on a bus tour of some of the sights of Madinah. He took us to Masjid Qiblatayn and Masjid Quba where we prayed tahiyatul masjid. But perhaps, most interestingly, he took us to the mountain of Uhud, to where the Battle of Uhud took place.
We stood on the mountain where the archers stood. We looked across and saw the massive mountain of Uhud where the Prophet (saws) was almost cornered. We looked below and saw the plains where the battle had taken place (now converted into a bustling souq of cart vendors).
And Shaykh Alaa passionately told the story of the battle that took place over 1400 years ago. The story of a battle almost won, but lost due to misjudgement by the archers on the mountain. But Subhan Allah, look at the wisdom of Allah that Shaykh Alaa shared with us.
What if the Muslims had won the battle? Despite the disobedience of the archers? What precedent would have been set? What would be the lesson for the rest of us? That we could disobey the Prophet of Allah and still be successful.
But the wisdom of Allah is greater. Greater than just the outcome of one battle. Greater than just another victory notch for the Muslims. Greater than even an injury to Rasulullah (saws). The wisdom was for the success of Islam and the success of the Ummah.
Obedience to Allah and His Messenger will lead to success insha Allah. That was the precedent, that was the lesson, that was the reminder for the Ummah to come. So what have we done to follow him?
Day 4 – Jummah at Masjid Nabawi
I prayed with over 1 million people today. 1 million! That’s more than the entire population of Mississauga! Can you imagine the entire population of Mississauga fitting into one building and praying salah at the same time? Unimagineable. The logistics of such an endeavour would take months, maybe years to plan.
And yet, there is so much barakah in the place, that it almost feels effortless. Obviously, it is not effortless. There are many workers, from the crowd control sisters who can speak several languages to the clears who are constantly cleaning up spilled zam zam, replacing the stocks of plastic cups, moving the huge tubs or wiping the dividers. Their efforts are unending.
There’s one crowd control sisters who was especially feisty masha Allah. Her voice directing people would echo through the masjid. “Baji! Baji! Andhar! Andhar!” Her Arabic accent pronouncing the Urdu words always made my smile.
Late that evening, before Maghrib and again, after Isha, Dr Muneer gave a sisters only talk describing the history and highlights of the Masjid Nabawi. From the detailed information on the expansions, the minarets, the addition of the domes, the changing mihrabs, the depth of his knowledge is striking masha Allah.
An amazing fact that he shared is that the size of the current masjid, is the same size as the original city of Madinah! That means we could truly be stepping in the footsteps of Rasulullah (saws).
*Sigh…*
I prayed with over 1 million people today. 1 million! That’s more than the entire population of Mississauga! Can you imagine the entire population of Mississauga fitting into one building and praying salah at the same time? Unimagineable. The logistics of such an endeavour would take months, maybe years to plan.
And yet, there is so much barakah in the place, that it almost feels effortless. Obviously, it is not effortless. There are many workers, from the crowd control sisters who can speak several languages to the clears who are constantly cleaning up spilled zam zam, replacing the stocks of plastic cups, moving the huge tubs or wiping the dividers. Their efforts are unending.
There’s one crowd control sisters who was especially feisty masha Allah. Her voice directing people would echo through the masjid. “Baji! Baji! Andhar! Andhar!” Her Arabic accent pronouncing the Urdu words always made my smile.
Late that evening, before Maghrib and again, after Isha, Dr Muneer gave a sisters only talk describing the history and highlights of the Masjid Nabawi. From the detailed information on the expansions, the minarets, the addition of the domes, the changing mihrabs, the depth of his knowledge is striking masha Allah.
An amazing fact that he shared is that the size of the current masjid, is the same size as the original city of Madinah! That means we could truly be stepping in the footsteps of Rasulullah (saws).
*Sigh…*
Day 3 – Entering the Masjid
I jumped out of bed, excited to perform my first salah in Masjid Nabawi. A day of not being able to pray there has left me restless and jittery. The masjid was less than a minute away, but the elevator and my footsteps couldn’t get them there fast enough.
The sun was already bright, almost providing a blinding whiteness to the decorative masjid. The huge gates loomed before Sahar and I as we rushed past the hijabs, athar and thobes being sold on the street. The last were the men selling the Qurans. “Qaf!” “Qaf!” I’m sure there’s a Quranic reference, but I’m not clear on what it is and I don’t have much time to think about. We’ve run past them to the gates of the masjid courtyard.
I take my first step inside and in all the anticipating, I forget the dua for entering the masjid. A squeal escapes my lips and all I can think is “Subhan Allah.” I can’t do what I saw before me justice by putting it into words…I feel like I’m going to be saying that a lot throughout this trip.
When I started this blog, I thought I would be able to capture the moments and essence of my experience here. But it is so much more than a few moments. It is so much more than a few experiences. I thought I would be able to explain things as they happen, so that when I go back insha Allah, I would be able to remember things when people ask.
In the past, when others have returned from hajj, I’ve asked them about their journey, but no one has ever really been able to explain it. I thought it was because there was just too much to explain. But what I realize, it not that it’s too much to explain, it is actually inexplicable.
Instead, I’ll leave you with some pictures. Unfortunately, a picture cannot explain the atmosphere. Words cannot describe the emotions. And this blog cannot do what I thought it would.
You’ll just have to come here and see for yourself insha Allah.
I jumped out of bed, excited to perform my first salah in Masjid Nabawi. A day of not being able to pray there has left me restless and jittery. The masjid was less than a minute away, but the elevator and my footsteps couldn’t get them there fast enough.
The sun was already bright, almost providing a blinding whiteness to the decorative masjid. The huge gates loomed before Sahar and I as we rushed past the hijabs, athar and thobes being sold on the street. The last were the men selling the Qurans. “Qaf!” “Qaf!” I’m sure there’s a Quranic reference, but I’m not clear on what it is and I don’t have much time to think about. We’ve run past them to the gates of the masjid courtyard.
I take my first step inside and in all the anticipating, I forget the dua for entering the masjid. A squeal escapes my lips and all I can think is “Subhan Allah.” I can’t do what I saw before me justice by putting it into words…I feel like I’m going to be saying that a lot throughout this trip.
When I started this blog, I thought I would be able to capture the moments and essence of my experience here. But it is so much more than a few moments. It is so much more than a few experiences. I thought I would be able to explain things as they happen, so that when I go back insha Allah, I would be able to remember things when people ask.
In the past, when others have returned from hajj, I’ve asked them about their journey, but no one has ever really been able to explain it. I thought it was because there was just too much to explain. But what I realize, it not that it’s too much to explain, it is actually inexplicable.
Instead, I’ll leave you with some pictures. Unfortunately, a picture cannot explain the atmosphere. Words cannot describe the emotions. And this blog cannot do what I thought it would.
You’ll just have to come here and see for yourself insha Allah.
Day 2 - Arrival in Madinah
You can see the masjid from the plane. You can see the masjid from the bus. You can see the masjid from the hotel window. But nothing can prepare you for what you see when you approach it on foot.
After arriving at Fajr on Tuesday morning, I couldn't enter the Prophet's masjid until Dhuhr the next day. Through out our travel, I kept making dua that I would to see the masjid and hear the salah from our room window. Alhamdulillah, my dua was answered. Listening to the Fajr adhan outside my window, as my husband, Br Ahmer and Sahar ran to catch Fajr, it felt comforting and welcoming as I leaned in to listen.
In this place, everything revolves around salah. All else stops. The shops roll down their doors, the street vendors wrap everything into their blankets, the sea of people move towards the masjid of the Prophet. Time feels like it is based in which salah you just completed, no longer based on numbers on a clock. Almost every salah, and even tahajjud has people praying right to the back of the outer courtyard. Who would want to give up a 1000 times more reward? By the huge crowds masha Allah, I would say virtually no one.
"Come to prayer, come to success! Come to prayer, come to success!"
I yearned to join them, but Allah is the best of planners and my first salah wasn't until Dhuhr the next day. It was a moments that I won't soon forget.
Madinah Fajr Adhan
You can see the masjid from the plane. You can see the masjid from the bus. You can see the masjid from the hotel window. But nothing can prepare you for what you see when you approach it on foot.
After arriving at Fajr on Tuesday morning, I couldn't enter the Prophet's masjid until Dhuhr the next day. Through out our travel, I kept making dua that I would to see the masjid and hear the salah from our room window. Alhamdulillah, my dua was answered. Listening to the Fajr adhan outside my window, as my husband, Br Ahmer and Sahar ran to catch Fajr, it felt comforting and welcoming as I leaned in to listen.
In this place, everything revolves around salah. All else stops. The shops roll down their doors, the street vendors wrap everything into their blankets, the sea of people move towards the masjid of the Prophet. Time feels like it is based in which salah you just completed, no longer based on numbers on a clock. Almost every salah, and even tahajjud has people praying right to the back of the outer courtyard. Who would want to give up a 1000 times more reward? By the huge crowds masha Allah, I would say virtually no one.
"Come to prayer, come to success! Come to prayer, come to success!"
I yearned to join them, but Allah is the best of planners and my first salah wasn't until Dhuhr the next day. It was a moments that I won't soon forget.
Madinah Fajr Adhan
Day 1 - Toronto to Madinah
I write this on the plane, our last leg between Istanbul and Madinah. Outside my window, pitch black darkness with a few red, flickering city lights and even those are disappearing from view.
The memories of the last 24 hours are also begging to fade. Saying bye to my co-workers in my lunch room cafeteria, as they strong armed me into giving up the blog website, seems like eons ago. It feels like we've been traveling for days, not due to any hardship, but perhaps due to Allah's mercy upon us by helping us prepare for what lies ahead, by separating us from what we've left behind.
Saying goodbye to my parents and my parents-in-law was the most difficult. It is often those that are closest to us that are the ones we've most wronged. The ones that the most rights upon us, yet their rights have been the most unfulfilled.
At every step of this journey so far, I have seen much kindness from children to their parents masha Allah. From the daughter who pushed he mother in the wheelchair up to security and then sent her mother for hajj, to the son who had his parents sit while he stood in the long line and then returned to get them when he was close to the front. To the female custodian at the sisters musallah in the Istanbul airport, who was taking care of the adorably, fiesty, older Kazakh female hajjis like they were her own parents!
It all reminds me of those we've left behind. It reminds me that Allah is truly Al-Latif, the Most Kind for blessing my husband and I with parents such as ours. We are undeserving of such a gift.
Insha Allah, Madinah is less than an hour away and my mind turns to the Prophet (saws). He like other Prophets before him, faced tests involving their parents. The Prophet (saws) was an orphan, Issa (AS) was fatherless, Ibrahim (AS) struggled against the shirk committed by his father. Yet, despite all that, they were able to become some of the best human beings to walk this earth.
So what have we done with this blessing, this gift, this shade of protection, our parents? Their constant support, patience, forgiveness, mercy, protection upon us - what have we done with it?
Ya Rabb, have mercy on all our parents, take care of them as they have taken care of us when we were young. Grant them ease, comfort, security, good health and relief from their burdens. Raise them in honour and rank in this life and the next. Protect from the difficulty of death, the punishment of the grave, the hardship of the Day of Judgement and the torment of the Fire. Provide them with the best of homes in Jannat-ul-Firdous, and hold them to no account. Ya Allah, You are the Most Merciful. Do not leave our duas unanswered. Ameen!
Image: First glimpse of Madinah
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