Day 11 - Eid! (10th of Dhul Hijjah)

Eid Mubarak!

Today, I thought of Eid back home. Watching Maariyah, Junayd, Ameera, Zaid and Rashid open up presents. Calling my mom, dad, Amereen and Shakereen and saying Eid Mubarak. Calling my Nani to wish her Eid Mubarak and instead, having her make dua for me the whole time we are on the phone masha Allah.

But here in the tents of Mina, I slept. I slept and slept and slept. Except for the brief intervals of wudu, salah or meals, I slept like I ran a marathon the day before.

And if I felt that way, what about others?

I'm one of the youngest people in our group. Alhamdulillah, I have all my senses, my youth, my limbs, my financial advantages, etc, and sometimes, I feel overwhelmed by the enormity of Hajj. And yet, there's the blind hafiz of the Quran, the elderly woman who's every step sends a shooting pain up her leg, the parents who've brought their 10 month old daughter, the adult child who pushes his disabled father in a wheelchair, the brother who is deaf and mildly autistic, I could go on and on subhan Allah.

Surely, their journeys have greater challenges, but they seem to persevere and thrive masha Allah. Indeed, their reward must be great. Not only for overcoming their perceived disadvantage, but for inspiring the rest of us to appreciate the ease that Allah has provided us.

At night, there was a special Eid dinner before we would leave to make our tawaf-ul Ifadah with Dr Muneer. We left Mina at midnight and returned at 9am the next morning.

We were out of ihram.

Day 10 - Arafah (9th of Dhul Hijjah)

Today was one of the most important days of my life. It felt like 10 days rolled into one. It felt like there was no sense of when time started and when it ended. It felt like every emotion that ever existed could be seen on every face: fear, desperation, frustrations, euphoria, hope, sadness, panic, serenity...

As people pleaded at Arafah, it felt like no one else mattered. As people lay down weary on the ground of Muzdalifah, it felt like humanity has always been equal. As people pelted the stones at Jamarat, it felt like everyone's frustration against their own weakness towards Shaytan was being released.

Arafah, Muzdalifah and Jamarat. A day that could leave you drained, but if you are blessed, a day that should make you feel reborn.

Sh Riad called it our new birthday.

Like I said, the most important day of my life.

Day 9 - Mina (8th of Dhul Hijjah)

It is hot. I don't know how else to describe what must be 50 degree weather. But during our trek (aka 20 minute walk) to our Mina tents, most of it is under a massive freeway tunnel, providing much needed relief from the sun, Alhamdulillah.

Every unexpected breeze is mercy from Allah. Every moment of shade is a blessing. Every sip of water is a gift.

We are assigned our tents. It seems we've been split by ethnicity (Indo/Pak in certain tents, Arabs in the others, everyone else mixed in between). As we shuffle into our tents with our carry on and backpacks, it is obvious that our accommodations are, by far, more luxurious than most. But the space is tight and for those us used to our expansive Canadian bedrooms, it takes some time to adjust to the new parameters of personal space and the heat.

Despite all of this, there is a woman in our tent. Masha Allah, she hasn't stopped smiling once. Not one complaint. Her face is fresh and lively. Her demeanor is warm and pleasant. She reads from her Quran in every spare moment and she has enough energy for 5 people, masha Allah.

And oh yeah....she's 5 months pregnant.

May Allah increase it and keep her under His protection. Ameen.

Image - Tent City

Day 8 - Prepare for Hajj

Today was a day filled with rest, salah and lectures by Dr Muneer, Sh Riad and Sh Alaa.

Dr Muneer was up first. Right after Fajr. We all gathered closely together in the prayer hall of the Hajj building. It feels like such a traditional way of learning. Something only the shuyookh talk about when they describe how they would sit at the feet of their teachers and learn. Perhaps, it is a bit romanticized, but it feels wholesome to learn this way.

Dr Muneer discussed the first 25 ayahs of the Surah-tul-Hajj. And guess what? They have nothing to do with Hajj itself. Not about the rituals, not about the procedures, not about the manasik, the faraid, the wajib, none of it. The first 25 ayahs of the surah are about the Day of Judgement and argumentation. Allah is surely full of Wisdom.

After Dhuhr, Sh Alaa also provides a reminder. He tells us of the story of Abu Dharr and how Abu Dharr had said that he loves illness, hunger and death. He loves illness, because his sins fall away, he loves hunger, because it brings him closer to Allah and he loves death, because it will bring him to Allah.

Later that evening, after Maghrib, Sh Riad is up. Earlier there had been a discussion and some of the pre-hajjis were complaining a bit and questioning some procedures. Sh Riad was visibly upset by the attitude of those that were complaining.

He started by saying his original topics was going to be about love. But he changed it. He wanted to remind us of our true purpose of Hajj. Not to be right about our madhab’s ruling, not to complain, not to argue.

He had changed his topic to death. Death of the Prophet (saws) and about the Day that everything will die.

The room was left silent. Tear streaked faces and heads in hands. Shoulders crumpled under some unseen weight and heavy sighs escaping burdened lungs. It is the day before Hajj and Allah provided us with our wake up call.

May Allah reward our shuyookh and protect them and their families. Their willingness to invest in us, sacrifice their time and time with their families to help us perform our hajj cannot be repaid by us. I have seen them run up and down handing out water bottles, I have seen them pick up and collect garbage, I have seen them pull wheelchairs over hards rocks, I have seen them answer our questions until their voices have become hoarse and barely audible, I have seen them cry and care for us, as if they would drag us to Jannah with them if they could.

Ya Allah! Accept from them and enter them and their families into Jannah with no account. Increase them in their barakah and increase them in their rank in this life and the next. Ya Rabb! You are the Most Merciful, shower them with your mercy and protect them from difficulty in this life and the next. Ameen.

We leave for Mina tomorrow.

Day 7 – The Kabah

Today, for the first time in my life, I saw the Kabah.

The end.

Day 6 – Leaving for Makkah

My mind is racing. I wake up in the middle of the night and my brain is going a mile a minute. Leaving Madinah. Heartache. Making my first Umrah. What should I wear? Ya Allah, make my umrah easy. Don’t forget to switch the scissors to the other bag. The bus ride. Get snacks ready. Last salah in Masjid Nabawi. Will it be my last salah ever in this masjid? Ya Rabb, bring me back soon. Alarm set for Tahajjud. Why is tahajjud so easy here? Can’t forget to ask Sh Alaa about legitimate charity. Wish I could go back to Riyad-ul-Jannah. Pray just 2 more rakah. Wonder what will be for breakfast?.....on and on. I can’t sleep. So much to think about and so little time.

The bus ride from Madinah to Makkah was eventful. Before were were on the move, a man came on the bus. He showed us a letter, a power of attorney, and told us about his brother being held by Saudi police unjustly and he had to pay blood money to get him out of jail. The man was teary eyed and his voice cracked as he spoke. A lot of sisters on our bus felt pity for this poor man and gave him whatever amount they could gather.

I wasn’t one of them.

Earlier that day, I had asked Sh Alaa how do we determine what is and is not legitimate charity. His answer was straightforward. He said give to the people that don’t ask. He said that most of those who ask are professionals and they come during hajj time because they know people’s guards are down. I told Sh Alaa that it’s difficult to say no to people. His response was profound. He said that every time you give to the con artists, you take away from the legitimate poor. Those the people with a right upon the money.

After the man got off the bus, our bus drive reappeared. He said the man with the sad story about his brother was a cheater. La hawla wa la quwata illa billah.

It made me sad. Sad for the sisters who were cheaters. Sad for the fact that we have to be suspicious of Muslims. Sad that this man has so little fear of Allah, that he is willing to steal from those who come to perform Hajj.

But he’s probably justified it in his mind somehow. Maybe he feels we are rich enough to sit in an air conditioned bus, then he’s justified in taking money from us. There’s so much haram in our own lives that we try to justify. We try to convince ourselves that we will be the ones who will be excused.

And now we are sitting on the bus, ready to make our first Umrah. Sh Riad is our group leader! As the bus ride begins, Sh Riad tells about the rain that fell in Madinah earlier that morning. He said he hadn’t seen it rain in Madinah since he left many years ago. And he reminded us that rain was a sign. A sign of Allah’s mercy and blessings. A sign that our Umrah had already been accepted. You can hear the sobs, Subhan Allahs, and Allahu Akbars murmuring through the bus. A moment of relief in all the anticipation.

Our bus ride begins and we are soon approaching Abyar Ali, where will be making our intention to enter the state of ihram. She Riad passionately describes the meaning and the reality of the talbiyah:

“Labbayk Allah humma labbayk!”
“Here I am at your service, O Lord!”

The intensity of his fiery reminder, brings everyone on the bus to a standstill and most to tears.

“Here I am Allah! At your service! I have come for You, Ya Rabb! I am coming for You! I am here to please You! I have nowhere else to go, except to You! All other doors are closed, and on Yours are open! I am here!”

I can’t do justice to Sh Riad’s words. But it was moment that will definitely be unforgettable.

Day 5 - The Bus Tour

Shaykh Alaa led us on a bus tour of some of the sights of Madinah. He took us to Masjid Qiblatayn and Masjid Quba where we prayed tahiyatul masjid. But perhaps, most interestingly, he took us to the mountain of Uhud, to where the Battle of Uhud took place.

We stood on the mountain where the archers stood. We looked across and saw the massive mountain of Uhud where the Prophet (saws) was almost cornered. We looked below and saw the plains where the battle had taken place (now converted into a bustling souq of cart vendors).

And Shaykh Alaa passionately told the story of the battle that took place over 1400 years ago. The story of a battle almost won, but lost due to misjudgement by the archers on the mountain. But Subhan Allah, look at the wisdom of Allah that Shaykh Alaa shared with us.

What if the Muslims had won the battle? Despite the disobedience of the archers? What precedent would have been set? What would be the lesson for the rest of us? That we could disobey the Prophet of Allah and still be successful.

But the wisdom of Allah is greater. Greater than just the outcome of one battle. Greater than just another victory notch for the Muslims. Greater than even an injury to Rasulullah (saws). The wisdom was for the success of Islam and the success of the Ummah.

Obedience to Allah and His Messenger will lead to success insha Allah. That was the precedent, that was the lesson, that was the reminder for the Ummah to come. So what have we done to follow him?